Tonglen Practice
AN INTRODUCTION TO TONGLEN
Joan Sutherland
This is an old Tibetan practice that is about dispelling our fear of suffering. Tonglen means ‘sending and receiving’. The fundamental practice is that we breathe in what is difficult and painful; we breathe in the suffering of others. We breathe out spaciousness, ease, happiness—the things that help dispel suffering. In acting to dispel the sufferings of others, we also dispel our fear of our own suffering.
There are a couple of different ways to do tonglen. As a meditation practice it goes like this: You begin a meditation with following your breath or whatever your concentration practice is, until you feel fairly stable and steady. Then you begin simply to imagine breathing in what is hot and heavy, and breathing out what is cool and light. You do that first with your breath, and then as though it’s happening through every pore in your body. When it feels natural to breathe in hot and heavy and breathe out cool and light, you bring to mind someone you care about who’s suffering. This can be someone in your family who’s having difficulty, or you can go a bit larger to people who’ve suffered as a result of Hurricane Katrina, for example. You imagine people for whom it’s easy to feel compassion, and you breathe in their suffering, taking it for yourself, and breathe out that which is peaceful and wholesome for them.
If you are feeling ambitious, you can move on to someone you have a hard time with and do the same kind of practice. Breathe in what you imagine their suffering to be, and breathe out what you think would be helpful to them. This practice can put you right up against how hard it is sometimes to do that. It might be that you feel anger, resentment, irritation—there could be a whole range of things that would make the practice difficult. In that case you stop visualizing this person and say: “May all beings who are feeling this anger (or whatever it is) be free of it.” You empathize with yourself and you include everybody else who is feeling the same thing. So you don’t turn anything away, even your own afflictions, and you also don’t allow those feelings to lead you to abandon the practice when it gets difficult; even in the midst of your own suffering you keep the focus on a wider circle, the circle of everyone who has the same feelings you do.
Pema Chodren talks about another way you can carry this practice around with you. This is a reminder, she says, that tonglen practice isn’t about breathing, it’s really about giving and receiving. So when you feel yourself having an afflictive emotion—when you feel anger or resentment or whatever is arising— the first thing is to say: “Other people feel this, too.” You’re not the only person in the world with this righteous anger, or this deep wound. This is a human thing to happen. The next step is to say: “May we all be free of this.” Again, we make an inclusive, unselfcentered move. And then comes: “As long as I am feeling this, let me feel it so others don’t have to.” Since I’m here anyway, let me take this bit of the world’s suffering on so that there is that much less of it around for others. This practice is something you can carry around with you and do all the time, in any kind of circumstance.
An obvious question is to wonder how we can really know either someone else’s suffering or what would be helpful for them. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says that it doesn’t matter whether you’re working with what’s true or with your idea of what’s true, because the point of the practice is to give up all sense of territoriality and possession. You’re trying to give up the idea that there is a ‘me’ inside where all this is happening, and then there’s an outside with all of that happening. You can do that just as easily working with what you think is true as you can with what’s actually true. So go with what you have, but don’t forget the humbling notion that it’s likely to include a whole lot of projection.
Seated Tonglen Practice
Sit in a meditation posture and take a few breaths, doing your concentration practice. As you breathe, breathe in what is hot and heavy in the world and breathe out what is cool and light. Let this become part of the natural rhythm of your breathing.
o As you can, begin to feel that your whole body is breathing like this, not just through your nose but through every pore.
o Now bring to mind someone you care about, someone it’s easy to love, who has some difficulty in their lives. Imagine breathing this way for that person. Notice what that’s like.
o Continue until the sending and receiving seems complete.
o Bring to mind somebody who’s difficult for you to feel good about, someone you have a hard time with.
o Imagine breathing in the same way for that person.
o If you find resistance or afflictive emotions arising when you think about this person, switch to doing tonglen for yourself and for everyone who feels that kind of feeling. “May all beings who are feeling this anger (or whatever it is) be free of it.”
o Now just return to your concentration practice. Come back to your breath, and then let that go.
Tonglen Practice On the Go
o Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, when you feel an afflictive emotion arise, say: “Other people feel this, too.”
o Then say: “May we all be free of this.”
o Finish with: “As long as I am feeling this, let me feel it so others don’t have to.”
The Buddha said that if we turn minds endowed with love on the world, our minds become like the earth itself: untroubled, without enmity, capacious, and free of limitations. There is something in the practice of tonglen that lets us to imagine we could do that.
LOVINGKINDNESS (METTA) MEDITATION
Sharon Salzberg
You can begin by sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes. Sit with your back erect, without being strained or overarched.
Take a few deep breaths, relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your body and into the moment.
See if certain phrases emerge from your heart that express what you wish most deeply for yourself, not just for today, but in an enduring way. Phrases that are big enough and general enough that you can ultimately wish them for all of life, for all beings everywhere.
Classical phrases are things like, "May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease."
You can gently repeat these phrases over and over again, have your mind rest in the phrases and whenever you find your attention has wandered, don't worry about it. When you recognize you've lost touch with the moment, see if you can gently let go and begin again.
May I live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind somebody that you care about--a good friend, or someone who's helped you in your life, someone who inspires you. You can visualize them, say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence, and then direct the phrases of lovingkindness to them. May you live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind someone you know who's having a difficult time right now. They've experienced a loss, painful feeling, a difficult situation. If somebody like that comes to mind, bring them here.
AN INTRODUCTION TO TONGLEN
Joan Sutherland
This is an old Tibetan practice that is about dispelling our fear of suffering. Tonglen means ‘sending and receiving’. The fundamental practice is that we breathe in what is difficult and painful; we breathe in the suffering of others. We breathe out spaciousness, ease, happiness—the things that help dispel suffering. In acting to dispel the sufferings of others, we also dispel our fear of our own suffering.
There are a couple of different ways to do tonglen. As a meditation practice it goes like this: You begin a meditation with following your breath or whatever your concentration practice is, until you feel fairly stable and steady. Then you begin simply to imagine breathing in what is hot and heavy, and breathing out what is cool and light. You do that first with your breath, and then as though it’s happening through every pore in your body. When it feels natural to breathe in hot and heavy and breathe out cool and light, you bring to mind someone you care about who’s suffering. This can be someone in your family who’s having difficulty, or you can go a bit larger to people who’ve suffered as a result of Hurricane Katrina, for example. You imagine people for whom it’s easy to feel compassion, and you breathe in their suffering, taking it for yourself, and breathe out that which is peaceful and wholesome for them.
If you are feeling ambitious, you can move on to someone you have a hard time with and do the same kind of practice. Breathe in what you imagine their suffering to be, and breathe out what you think would be helpful to them. This practice can put you right up against how hard it is sometimes to do that. It might be that you feel anger, resentment, irritation—there could be a whole range of things that would make the practice difficult. In that case you stop visualizing this person and say: “May all beings who are feeling this anger (or whatever it is) be free of it.” You empathize with yourself and you include everybody else who is feeling the same thing. So you don’t turn anything away, even your own afflictions, and you also don’t allow those feelings to lead you to abandon the practice when it gets difficult; even in the midst of your own suffering you keep the focus on a wider circle, the circle of everyone who has the same feelings you do.
Pema Chodren talks about another way you can carry this practice around with you. This is a reminder, she says, that tonglen practice isn’t about breathing, it’s really about giving and receiving. So when you feel yourself having an afflictive emotion—when you feel anger or resentment or whatever is arising— the first thing is to say: “Other people feel this, too.” You’re not the only person in the world with this righteous anger, or this deep wound. This is a human thing to happen. The next step is to say: “May we all be free of this.” Again, we make an inclusive, unselfcentered move. And then comes: “As long as I am feeling this, let me feel it so others don’t have to.” Since I’m here anyway, let me take this bit of the world’s suffering on so that there is that much less of it around for others. This practice is something you can carry around with you and do all the time, in any kind of circumstance.
An obvious question is to wonder how we can really know either someone else’s suffering or what would be helpful for them. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says that it doesn’t matter whether you’re working with what’s true or with your idea of what’s true, because the point of the practice is to give up all sense of territoriality and possession. You’re trying to give up the idea that there is a ‘me’ inside where all this is happening, and then there’s an outside with all of that happening. You can do that just as easily working with what you think is true as you can with what’s actually true. So go with what you have, but don’t forget the humbling notion that it’s likely to include a whole lot of projection.
Seated Tonglen Practice
Sit in a meditation posture and take a few breaths, doing your concentration practice. As you breathe, breathe in what is hot and heavy in the world and breathe out what is cool and light. Let this become part of the natural rhythm of your breathing.
o As you can, begin to feel that your whole body is breathing like this, not just through your nose but through every pore.
o Now bring to mind someone you care about, someone it’s easy to love, who has some difficulty in their lives. Imagine breathing this way for that person. Notice what that’s like.
o Continue until the sending and receiving seems complete.
o Bring to mind somebody who’s difficult for you to feel good about, someone you have a hard time with.
o Imagine breathing in the same way for that person.
o If you find resistance or afflictive emotions arising when you think about this person, switch to doing tonglen for yourself and for everyone who feels that kind of feeling. “May all beings who are feeling this anger (or whatever it is) be free of it.”
o Now just return to your concentration practice. Come back to your breath, and then let that go.
Tonglen Practice On the Go
o Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, when you feel an afflictive emotion arise, say: “Other people feel this, too.”
o Then say: “May we all be free of this.”
o Finish with: “As long as I am feeling this, let me feel it so others don’t have to.”
The Buddha said that if we turn minds endowed with love on the world, our minds become like the earth itself: untroubled, without enmity, capacious, and free of limitations. There is something in the practice of tonglen that lets us to imagine we could do that.
LOVINGKINDNESS (METTA) MEDITATION
Sharon Salzberg
You can begin by sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes. Sit with your back erect, without being strained or overarched.
Take a few deep breaths, relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your body and into the moment.
See if certain phrases emerge from your heart that express what you wish most deeply for yourself, not just for today, but in an enduring way. Phrases that are big enough and general enough that you can ultimately wish them for all of life, for all beings everywhere.
Classical phrases are things like, "May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease."
You can gently repeat these phrases over and over again, have your mind rest in the phrases and whenever you find your attention has wandered, don't worry about it. When you recognize you've lost touch with the moment, see if you can gently let go and begin again.
May I live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind somebody that you care about--a good friend, or someone who's helped you in your life, someone who inspires you. You can visualize them, say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence, and then direct the phrases of lovingkindness to them. May you live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind someone you know who's having a difficult time right now. They've experienced a loss, painful feeling, a difficult situation. If somebody like that comes to mind, bring them here.